— An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
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Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement.
habits often appear to make no difference until you cross a critical threshold and unlock a new level of performance.
And if successful and unsuccessful people share the same goals, then the goal cannot be what differentiates the winners from the losers.
life for the moment. That’s the counterintuitive thing about improvement. We think we need to change our results, but the results are not the problem. What we really need to change are the systems that cause those results.
The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy.” The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone. I’ve slipped into this trap so many times I’ve lost count. For years, happiness was always something for my future self to enjoy.
When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running.
Imagine two people resisting a cigarette. When offered a smoke, the first person says, “No thanks. I’m trying to quit.” It sounds like a reasonable response, but this person still believes they are a smoker who is trying to be something else. They are hoping their behavior will change while carrying around the same beliefs.
Behavior that is incongruent with the self will not last.
The more pride you have in a particular aspect of your identity, the more motivated you will be to maintain the habits associated with it. I
True behavior change is identity change. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity. Anyone can convince themselves to visit the gym or eat healthy once or twice, but if you don’t shift the belief behind the behavior, then it is hard to stick with long-term changes. Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who you are.
people who identified as “being a voter” were more likely to vote than those who simply claimed “voting” was an action they wanted to perform.
when your behavior and your identity are fully aligned, you are no longer pursuing behavior change. You are simply acting like the type of person you already believe yourself to be.
The most practical way to change who you are is to change what you do.
you don’t need to be aware of the cue for a habit to begin. You can notice an opportunity and take action without dedicating conscious attention to it.
Observe your thoughts and actions without judgment or internal criticism. Don’t blame yourself for your faults. Don’t praise yourself for your successes.
people who make a specific plan for when and where they will perform a new habit are more likely to follow through.
You often decide what to do next based on what you have just finished doing.
If you want to make a habit a big part of your life, make the cue a big part of your environment.
an inversion of the 1st Law of Behavior Change. Rather than make it obvious, you can make it invisible.
It is the anticipation of a reward—not the fulfillment of it—that gets us to take action.
One of the most effective things you can do to build better habits is to join a culture where your desired behavior is the normal behavior. New habits seem achievable when you see others doing them every day.
Once we fit in, we start looking for ways to stand out.
her than make it obvious, you can make it invisible.
supernormal stimuli of our modern world. They exaggerate features that are naturally attractive to us, and our instincts go wild as a result, driving us into excessive shopping habits, social media habits, porn habits, eating habits, and many others.
dopamine is released not only when you experience pleasure, but also when you anticipate it.
our brain has far more neural circuitry allocated for wanting rewards than for liking them.
The fact that the brain allocates so much precious space to the regions responsible for craving and desire provides further evidence of the crucial role these processes play. Desire is the engine that drives behavior. Every action is taken because of the anticipation that precedes it. It is the craving that leads to the response.
You’re more likely to find a behavior attractive if you get to do one of your favorite things at the same time.
Highlight the benefits of avoiding a bad habit to make it seem unattractive.
If I outline twenty ideas for articles I want to write, that’s motion. If I actually sit down and write an article, that’s action.
sticking to the habit of doing one push-up per day requires almost no energy to get started. And the less energy a habit requires, the more likely it is to occur.
Life feels reactive, but it is actually predictive.
Study for class” becomes “Open my notes.
The point is to master the habit of showing up. The truth is, a habit must be established before it can be improved.
The secret is to always stay below the point where it feels like work.
Within the first week of locking myself out of social media, I realized that I didn’t need to check it nearly as often as I had been, and I certainly didn’t need it each day.
In an attempt to spend less time with this egomaniac, she acted as dull and as boring as possible whenever he was around. Within a few encounters, he started avoiding her because he found her so uninteresting.
the consequences of bad habits are delayed while the rewards are immediate
time inconsistency. That is, the way your brain evaluates rewards is inconsistent across time
Pass on another month of Netflix? Move $10 over. It’s like creating a loyalty program for yourself. The immediate reward of seeing yourself save money toward the leather jacket feels a lot better than being deprived. You are making it satisfying to do nothing.
Making progress is satisfying, and visual measures—like moving paper clips or hairpins or marbles—provide clear evidence of your progress
he is not focused on how good or bad a particular joke is or how inspired he feels. He is simply focused on showing up and adding to his streak.
I can’t be perfect, but I can avoid a second
When we choose the wrong measurement, we get the wrong behavior.
Our genes do not eliminate the need for hard work. They clarify it. They tell us what to work hard on. Once we realize our strengths, we know where to spend our time and energy.
the way to maintain motivation and achieve peak levels of desire is to work on tasks of “just manageable difficulty.”
At some point it comes down to who can handle the boredom of training every day, doing the same lifts over and over and over.”
really successful people feel the same lack of motivation as everyone else. The difference is that they still find a way to show up despite the feelings of boredom.
As Machiavelli noted, “Men desire novelty to such an extent that those who are doing well wish for a change as much as those who are doing badly.
keep your identity small.” The more you let a single belief define you, the less capable you are of adapting when life challenges you
Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure (which is joy or satisfaction), but about the lack of desire. It arrives when you have no urge to feel differently.
Observation without craving is the realization that you do not need to fix anything. Your desires are not running rampant. You do not crave a change in state. Your mind does not generate a problem for you to solve. You’re simply observing and existing.
Emotions drive behavior. Every decision is an emotional decision at some level. Whatever your logical reasons are for taking action, you only feel compelled to act on them because of emotion.
We can only be rational and logical after we have been emotional.
With craving, we are dissatisfied but driven. Without craving, we are satisfied but lack ambition.
New plans offer hope because we don’t have any experiences to ground our expectations